Don't Make Me Laugh
Stewards usually have a pretty good sense of humor and enjoy a good joke. Here’s something that stewards often hear that always makes them laugh.
The joke goes something like this.
I don’t use the methods but they wouldn’t fire me because: I run under for them all time. My supervisor likes me. Their numbers would go in the toilet if they fired me. I’d slow way down if they tried to fire me.
I skip my lunch for them. Nobody else could do that route like I do. I bring in big accounts. I don’t file grievances. I’ve never been in trouble. I don’t report injuries even though my back hurts all the time. I saved their butts so many times. Nobody else works as hard as I do. I don’t complain about excessive overtime.
I’m never late and never call in sick. I socialized with the boss before he went into management. Upper management likes me. Or the funniest one of all: They wouldn’t fire me because I’m the best driver in the center, they tell me so all the time.
During the early years of my tenure at UPS, there were some really good people in management. We used to frat with them on Friday evenings at the Yacht Club.
A few years later that ended and every single one of the sups and managers who used to frat with us was downsized. Totally every one as far as I can remember.
I started to get smart and realized that management was completely disposable, like lighters. When the flame stops coming out, they are tossed in the trash.
Then remaining management that was NOT with the program got assigned to the night shift. Only the real aggressive go-getters were left. We learned NOT to trust these guys.
Now the company has changed, but they are still using that old "let's work together" stuff on newer drivers who are still raw material. There is no learning curve time anymore. Someone just has to tell these new drivers what's really up.
Management can now simply refer to "the man upstairs" when terminating their young grasshopper drivers after they crash into a dock door, or tumble down the stairs with a load of packages, or whatever.
Young drivers, the management is NOT your friend. Do your job and stay out of their inner circle. They will dispose of you when you no longer suit their fancy. This is not just grouchy talk of old retired guys. It is the truth and you need to listen!
The most important thing is "do the job correctly including the 3,340 methods" no matter how long it takes.
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