UPS Drivers Voted "Dumbest on Earth" by Engineers
UPS drivers were voted the “dumbest people on earth” at the annual gathering of the Society of Industrial Engineers. Citing widespread newspaper accounts detailing how the Engineers had restructured all UPS routes to make only right hand turns (thus saving the delivery giant millions of dollars), the Society also named themselves the “smartest people on earth.”
“If we hadn’t invented Package Flow Technology and introduced UPS Telematics when we did, UPS would be in the crapper right now,” said Tony Bologna, spokesman for the group. “UPS drivers had been running their routes for almost 100 years and never realized that right hand turns were easier to make than left hand turns. And they thought leaving the bulkhead door open saved them time. How dumb are can they be?“
“All these UPS drivers thought they were so smart when they sat up their own routes and ran them,” Bologna added, “but we just sat down with a map and a magic marker and showed them to be the dumbest people on earth. The new routes, designed by the industrial engineering department, are models of efficiency. Who needs area knowledge when you have Google Earth?”
A special award went to former CEO and industrial engineer Mike Eskew, for his role in elevating the Industrial Engineering Dept. at UPS to the rank of Godliness. “No one questions the word of IE at UPS,” Bologna noted, “when we speak, it’s as if God Himself has spoken.” Bologna glossed over the fact that UPS stock has been flat for the last 5 years, noting that Eskew was an engineer, not a “Goddamn financial wizard.”
A large number of UPS drivers picketed the gathering. They held a demonstration on the sidewalk outside the building, singing songs and carrying signs. One poster read ‘Right Hand Turns are for Cowards’. Others sang a stirring rendition of Willie Nelson’s “Momma, don’t let your babies grow up to be engineers.”
Categories: UPS
Tags: DenverBrown UPS job UPS Telematics Teamster blog
This just shows everyone who is willing to listen, that a cult mentality such as the one promulgated by Mike Eskew leads to complete neurotic organizational behavior.
Here is one very important fact:
I spent 30 years at UPS as a DRIVER, and I retired in 2008. NO ONE ever told me anything about the LEFT HAND TURN prohibition. Not one, not EVER!
The true value of UPS is the old fashioned thing we used to call "Service" and "good customer relations". Back then, the UPS stock was soaring in value.
Reply to this
I too like Mr. Banker was an employee for 30 years and drove for 24 of those and retired, wait was drove out sooner than I wanted to be. I take great offense to this article as I know many others do. How soon those in IE forget!!! When you started the SPA system who but the drivers had to set down and put on paper stop for stop how we ran our rts so you could put it in the system. Putting in P.O. boxes and putting a street number to them. New 911 addresses when the old RD box numbers were fading away. And new street names along with number breaks so that these trucks could be set up properly.You didn't get all that info from Google Earth. And right hand turns only result in a circle for you brains in IE. We ran our rts as efficently as possible trying to satisfy customers on a daily basis. The last couple years I drove there were many customers disatisfied with UPS service. All UPS cares about anymore is the numbers!!! They don't care about customers or it's employees!! I had a customer on my rt that got their packages in the morning for over 20 years. And it was not out of my way to do this stop. Then one fine day when they did an OJS ride with me the on car sup informed my customer that I could no longer accommadate them with a morning delivery. It not only affected them but all their customers too. IE you need to step back for a moment and look. It's not a computer who delivers the packages and it's not a computer who gets you your customers it's the driver! So until the day comes when the computer can run the rt and deliver the packages I think you need to give a little more respect where it is due!!!!
Reply to this
I distinctly remember when the SPA system started, they came to us (the drivers) and asked us to go over their versions of the route run sequences. At that time IE was still dependent upon us to provide the best information to make the system work.
Prior to that IE did the big LOOP work on all routes, and of course they needed our help then too. Throughout the entire process they needed our input to make the sequence correct, but in some places they did not take our advice, and it usually was to the detriment of the customers.
They say we are stupid, but they needed us to help them every step of the way in the entire conversion process, then they started changing routes without our input, and that is when things went out of control. Now they are bragging and taking credit for what they created, saying we were stupid in the way we had previously set up our routes.
What utter nonsense are the comments of Mr. Bologna. “All these UPS drivers thought they were so smart when they sat up their own routes and ran them,” Bologna added, “but we just sat down with a map and a magic marker and showed them to be the dumbest people on earth. The new routes, designed by the industrial engineering department, are models of efficiency. Who needs area knowledge when you have Google Earth?”
His recollection is somewhat skewed isn't it? My recollection is that they kept coming to us, the drivers, for more input and double checks. We tried to correct their errors, but were dismissed after the system was completed. "just sat down with a map, an magic marker, and ....". Har, Har, Har. That is a trip to read. What nonsense that is!
Who is stupid?
Reply to this
As a driver with over 34 years at ups and just can't get enough these two comments before me hit this right on the button.My job is to deliver those packages and take care of my customers.If ups doesn't like that lets do LSD Letter suspension discharge.
Reply to this