You think Christmas is a 4 letter word.

        Putting on a brown shirt makes you feel like Superman.

        You start to yawn when your friends talk about the high cost of their health insurance.

        You can't talk to anyone for over a minute without turning and starting to walk away.

        You can eat with your fingers no matter how dirty your hands are.

        You drink two gallons of water a day in the summer and never have to go to the bathroom.

        You get off work before 6 o'clock and it feels like you had the afternoon off.

        Your favorite day in the neighborhood is trash day.

        You have more brown pens at home than silverware.

        You take the family on a road trip and make the kids to pee in cups so you don't have to stop.

        When you see a brown truck on the street you immediately begin to critique the driver's methods.